Freezing to Death

Ahh what a cheery title to this post. Well, contrary to how the title sounds, I'm actually having a spectacular life at the moment. Not at this very moment exactly, but in the other moments, in general. At this very moment, I'm sitting at work, in a little open hut, waiting for someone to buy my fruits and vegetables. The wind is so ferocious today, and the lake is this steely gray color, almost matching the sky. The sky is that bright kind of whiteish gray that hurts to look at, yet there's no sun. The formation of the clouds over the lake is beautiful though. Indescribable as well. My only wish is that it was warmer. Much, much warmer. Oh well : )

My cousin from WA is visiting. Sitting at work with me. Its so relaxing here, gives you time to think. And this windy, gray weather is a great set-up for some really deep thoughts. There's too many to share, and I don't think I want to share them all. God has really been showing Himself these past few days, week maybe. Just in little things that make me think more about Him.

That one guy. I'm scared to really expect much from all of this, but can you just imagine how amazing would it be if he was for real? Especially to a girl living in a fairytale like me. But its all up to God. I really can't see such an amazing guy like him, waiting for a simple girl like me. But miracles happen. One thing that all of this has been teaching me is to trust on God. Its such a simple concept but then once you think about it, its not. How hard is it to trust God with everything? Not just the things that you think you should, not the little things, not the big things, but everything. Every thought, every action, every breath. And meeting this guy has actually been teaching me that. I find myself constantly praying about him. Just little stuff, like while I'm driving home, I'll just ask God to bless him at this very moment. And then I'll continue my conversation with God. And you know what, it has brought me closer to God.

Its been pointing my faults out and my weaknesses. Its been helping me just meditate on God. And most importantly, its been showing me God's hand in every little thing. Thats amazing. I can actually never run out of words on this topic. The older I get, the more passionate I get about my Jesus because the more things He keeps doing for me. Its so hard to describe but its so visible in the little things. Just the one fact that God gave me this guy is already a blessing in so many ways. I want to make it clear that I'm not hopelessly and deeply in love and just enamored with him. Nothing like that at all. Its more like someone offering you a blanket on a cold cold day. Wow, what a bad example. But well, think about it. Maybe instead of a blanket...its a friend who has a blanket! Yeah thats better, companionship and warmth and you can see that someone cares.

Its so amazing to know that God cares about me. That no matter what I do, I am his child forever. I can mess up my life to the extent that no one will want me, but God always will want and love me. And its all connected. The fellowship with my friends, an awesome volleyball game, an especially pretty flower, a good day at work, a kind work from a friend, a wink, warm tea on a cold day, it all leads back to God. You can ask, how in the world does it? Well, I'd love to explain for each and every example. Just ask me. But don't be suprised where me train of thought ends up.

On a day like today where the wind is furiously whipping at every living thing, where even the green leaves on the tree look grayer, where the clouds are menacing and the lake in white frothing waves from the wind....its a warming thought to know you have a Savior and Protector in heaven watching you, keeping you safe. Being happy with you, sad with you and in complete control of your life, knowing that if you just try Him, everything will end up perfect. He promises.