Mixed.

I wonder what a more descriptive word for "mixed" would be. Confused maybe? But I'm not confused really. I'm more experiencing a large variety of emotions. So it feels mixed. I'm worried about my health, I really do think I can be a hypochondriac but with good reason! I hope there is nothing wrong but I'm still glad that I have to go get a TB test for nursing because then I can ask for a full physical just to make sure I am healthy.

Also, who knew that separation was so painful. These have been the longest 2 weeks of my life! He comes home after tomorrow (or tomorrow basically) but it feels like it's been much longer. You think you know the meaning of love, but then you find out again and again that it is much more than you think! Maybe this is why I've been more worried and just sadder lately, because he's so far away. I never realized how big of a part of my life he is and how much of a blessing! Thankfully, he's coming home soon.

Also, I am very happy. I upgraded my room today and it looks beautiful and I am very satisfied with my work! And I have the most amazing family and friends and God really does bless me! When I see people who are less fortunate, it reminds me how lucky I am! But its not luck, its all God!

I guess its just hard for me to grasp the idea that the big, mighty God cares for me. And watches over me and has my whole life in His hands. Who am I that He would love me so much? I feel so small in comparison with the rest of the world and my small being can't possible survive all alone in this world. I actually don't think I can survive sometimes. I guess those are the times where I need to remember that God actually does love me, more than anything else. He actually knows every single one of my dreams and hears every one of my thoughts, and when I'm sad, He's right there, and when I'm happy, He's still there! That is awesome. There's no other word to describe it! I can't believe I forget that the great Creator of this world is my love, my king and He protects me and has my whole life planned out so that I am ultimately so very happy. He has everything in control and when people say, it'll be ok in the end...it really WILL be ok in the end because I'm not alone in the world, in my sadness's and worrys, Jesus is always right there. Its true! A verse that I found to be true is, "The Lord keeps His promises, He is gracious in all He does." Psalm 145:13. Its true! Unlike the rest of this crazy world, Jesus always keeps His promises, and His promises are pretty amazing! :)

Adventures. New Year.

The title is a bit deceiving. But it is true. Life is an adventure. Everyday is different than the last or next. Every day I wake up thinking this is day is not gonna be like yesterday. Even if I don't do anything! Sometimes I wish life would hurry, just a bit so that I could finish some things or just move on in life a little bit. But then life is so precious. Why should I hurry? Just enjoy every day, even the day days because during those days, I can be happy that I have better days!

I made my list of new year resolutions. It doesn't look easy but I know I can do it! I like new years because they make me feel like I just got a second chance at life. The things that I did wrong last year, I can do better this year! My number one resolution is to be more loving. Everyone needs love and most of us don't get enough of it! And if I won't be more loving, then who will?

As for adventures, this year is an adventure all on its own. I graduate this year. And I also finish my first year of college. I turn 18. I get a new passport. I get to work in a hospital for the first time. I might be married this year (maybe). I might move this year. I'm going on a mission trip this year. All of this is if God wills, then I will do it! It will be an eventful year! :)

Meanwhile, I'll try to make the best of every day. Be more positive. More loving. And more willing to let God take my life where He wants it! Because I know he has something pretty awesome planned for me this year. For all of us! Happy New Year :)