Summer is absolutely wonderful but what are these random weird moments going on?! So me and my father have been really not communicating well which is just not normal. We've always been on such good terms all the time. Maybe it's because I'm keeping the secret from him. I'd tell him but he's just so narrow minded, and old fashioned, not even giving anything new a chance. I could never tell him, he'd just blow up. And I guess I was out late last night, but why didn't he even call me once. I would have come home right away, I thought they had forgotten about me. I think its because I'm growing up a little more and he can't accept it. And maybe I'm not doing it right. AHH, its just such a big annoying problem. Hopefully it'll work out soon because in the next few weeks, I'm gonna be home even less.
I've also found it harder to read my Bible daily and pray. I always do it before I go to sleep, but for the past few days, week even, I've stopped both reading and praying. Thats so bad for my spiritual growth but something is missing! I think its because I'm reading about David and I'm supposed to take notes on that section of the Bible for camp. So I need to hurry up and finish this section and go back to my normal life.
I've also gotten really messy. I have absolutely no desire to clean my room, my house. Maybe its because my father is constantly nagging me about it. Well, about my room. If he said to clean the kitchen, I'd do it! But he never does. Its so hard being the only female in this household! I'm really about to just blow up from all this. And Im on a big big money shortage.
Work was supposed to start on Friday, but something didn't work out, so now I'm stuck with no money and no work. And my father is refusing to give me money. Well thats a lie. He gave me 60$ to buy him a shirt and 20$ for gas. The shirt cost 80$. So now i don't have any money and any gas. And he's not speaking to me this morning because I came home at 10:30 last night. I REALLY wish he could give me a curfew. He doesn't!! And then gets mad when I come home past whatever time he feels was too late.
A good relationship with parents is the basis for a happy life. Because as soon as me and my dad started to not get along, the rest of my life started to fail as well. This should be a time of such spiritual upheaval and happiness but its the opposite. I think the devil is sending everything possible to ruin our lives right now. Our missionaries left for Russia, Georgia, the other countries, yesterday and wow, 6 of my cousins left. I miss them all so much already! They are doing such a big work and I know Satan would do everything possible to ruin their efforts. Also back home, my church's kids camp is coming up, and I seriously can not start preparing for this. I think that's Satan's work again, trying to sabotage all work that will be done for God's glory and the good of the kids.
Either way, I need to get my game up. I just really need to break free of my house. I'm feeling trapped every time I come home! Thats neither normal nor good for anyone. But I don't know what to do. Hmm, let's start by cleaning and then see what happens. And praying, I miss it so much and now with all the missionaries gone, my prayer list has doubled. I can't let some minor problems ruin my summer for God and for myself.
As a side note, I noticed that all these problems have really come crashing down on me as soon as I began my closer contact with my friend. Myabe he's not good for me. But I really don't think so. I actually think he's God's blessing. Well, time will tell. Meanwhile I'll try to get my life back on track. I know I'm not perfect, some of this is definately my fault. And its nice to see that I'm still human, still have problems. The one difference is that I have an amazing God who will do everything needed to help me get back to serving Him wholeheartedly. Otherwise, I'd never ever be able to fix my life and would never have the happiness I am given. Wow this verse just popped into my mind: "To whom much is given, of him is much required". Oh wow, thats the answer to my problems!
See thats exactly how amazing Jesus is. He gives an answer right away. I'm having all these problems because He kept blessing me again and again yet I'd just live my life the same way. I don't have enough discipline in my life. Well, there you go. Life has just begun to return to normal! Yay : )
Same feeling for me, deary. Summer is definitely not what I expected it to be. Summer holds time for such great opportunities, but most of the time, it's the extra time that makes us lazy.
ReplyDeleteBut losing all motivation is one of those struggles that will bring you closer to Him. And don't forget the first part of your Philipians verse: "Do all things without grumbling or questioning..."
Things will work out :) They always do.
What gives you the idea Satan was plaguing you? I mean, if something goes wrong in life does Satan get blamed for it? Is that what faith is; blaming everything but yourself?
ReplyDeleteI still love you, Zena, have no worry. :)
I am curious though...
Well Lizzie everything comes from either God or Satan. It can't just appear out of no where, and nothing bad can ever come from God, so it can only come from Satan because he hates Christians and all we do so much. But if you don't blame yourself, thats pride. Also Satan's fault, but thats a longer story.
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