Inside a Person

Inside of us, there's so many things! I'm currently speaking from a physical viewpoint. Can't wait to take biology and anatomy! The human body is so complex and everything somehow functions as a whole. Proving again extent of our God's power. But I'm a little worried about this whole human body. The immune system is of special interest to me now that I seem to not have one anymore. I know that, yeah, if I didn't have an immune system then I'd be dead within seconds but man, it sure seems like I don't have one anymore. I get sick so so so easily. And it really slows me down, which is extremly frustrating. Now that summer is basically here, I typically have a limitless amount of energy...but not now. I barely have enough energy to think, not to mention speak or walk! VERY frustrating! My days take so much energy because its just impossible not to. I'm usually pretty upbeat and tend to bounce around everywhere instead of walking in the summer, but I can't!!! AHHHH. I can't even explain how annoying it is to be so listless and sick!

So many plans coming up that I really can't afford to be sick. Too many people are counting on me to come through with my plans, and personally I do need to get everything done. Also, I am on the way to getting a black eye! Another lovely addition to my already crazy life. I'm not sure what its from because I'm always bumping into things, but I think its from a volleyball. And I have so much due!!! Last official day of school tomorrow, life is just closing in on me it feels like. And I'm running out of breath(literally and metaphorically)! But you know...this is all a lesson.

The lesson is that I need to rely on God more. I like to be in charge of my life. I like to know whats happening, when its happeing, who will be there, what I have to do, etc. I'm trying to be a little more in the shadows and quieter, but ahh I like control. Which is why I need to marry someone who can control me! Just say no :) My dad has no learned to say no to me very well, or maybe he just knows what he's doing. Seriously, parents are SO smart. Maybe not all, but wow, my dad is. Maybe not always, but he knows what I'm thinking half the time! Thats why I never get away with anything.

But back to God being in control, I get off topic so easily. I recently slacked off on my Bible reading and had close to no prayer life. Then I started dying. The horrible cold. The random stomache ache. The black eye. The pressure of school. Pretty sure God knows that I needed to slow down and give Him control and the only way to do that was to slow me down physically. One of the verses I sent out recently was the God gives strength to the weary. Well God, I'm pretty weary. Actually I passed weariness a loong time ago. Much more than weary now. It took me a while to acknowledge the fact that hey, maybe God is trying to get my attention throught this chain of unfortunate events. And I believe He was trying to get my attention. Well, He got it! Just makes me sort of ashamed that I keep falling away from Him. Not completly detaching but I stray away from having a close relationship with Him.

And then when someone asks how I know that my Jesus is real? Well, its stories like this! But how do explain it? Actually Ms. Tholen gave a great example today. Charles did a speech on religion and wow, the video he showed was some Pentocostal/Charismatical kid's camp and wow, it was horrible. But thats not my point. My point is that faith is believeing in something when you have absolutly no proof that it exists. Jesus is real, He does reach out to people and talk to us through events like this. When we dont pay attention to His soft voice, He uses more drastic measure like making us so sick we're almost immobile!

And on top of all the physical properties inside our bodies, there is also a myserious and complex web of spiritual and mental properties. Thats another thing I find fascinating, the way people think. The different ways thought form and progress, the different core beliefs, the way beliefs are formed and influenced; its all just so fascinating. I love people. Both the physical structure of all the veins,cells, and muscles and the thoughts, emotions and reactions. Everyone is so different and precious. Especially though, I love the way kids think. The purity of emotions is so beautiful. And the sad thing is, that purity is being lost and a younger and younger age as the culture progresses. Its sad but I know there's one thing I can do: show them God's power and the complete joy at being His child. I know that thats the one thing that helped me stay grounded in my faith. A deeply imbeded love of Jesus from my childhood thanks to my mom and dad.

And I'm kinda beginning to realize that really, looks aren't much in a person. The physical properties are amazing, yes, but they make up so little of who a person really is! Took my a while to realize this, but really personality does matter! A person who has God in their life will always be beautiful. Haha maybe I'm going down this train of thought because at the moment, I look horrible and feel horrible as well. It'll all be over soon though, I hope. I have so much to do. And I really think the reason why I keep adding and adding things to my schedule of life is because I need to be constantly doing something. Missionary work is definately my passion. All these camps are just preparing me for the real job. Its not just about teaching the kids, its also about learning for myself. Learning patience, love, kindess, meekness, dependance, the camps all have so much to teach everyone! Which is why I'm so excited.

Seriously, now that I'm really really sick, the one thing that gets me up in the morning is knowing that I'm one day close to my camp! And soon I can catch up on my sleep as well! Eventhing will even out. If only this black eye would hurry up and heal...But nonetheless its nice to know that everything will be ok in the end : )