The last few weeks have been terrible, to say the least! Five AP tests, along with regular tests and finals and college entrance test have been overcome successfully! Along with that, I had been working every night for those 2 weeks as well as teaching Bible class on Fridays. I have to say I feel pretty accomplished right now! But this isn't a very happy post.
Today was such a alienated day! I really did feel like I was watching everything but not really being there! It bothers me so much! At school, I'm a foreigner who is mostly quiet and not especially social. At church, there's no stopping me from chatting with someone or being involved in something or just being full of life. It is such a contrast! But you know what I've noticed? I have very little in common with most people in school. That makes me a little sad. Surely there's someone else that believes the same as I do! The single driving passion of their life is Jesus.
I know its hard to understand if you're not a Believer. 1 Peter 2:9 " But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." This verse has been my foundation for these past two days. I'm sad not because I'm slightly anti social at school but because I watch the pointless lives that my fellow students live and my heart cries out to them! One of my friends said today, "Oh you wouldn't understand, you're a strong Christian." I really don't like that word. I'm a Jesus follower, not just a vague Christian! He is my everything!
It is pretty hard not having the constant group of friends with me that I'm used to, or really, not having any real friends in school. Makes me wonder if maybe something is wrong with me. Why do people say I'm different? Why can I not find the right words to say to be accepted? Why do they laugh at something that means more to me than life? Well, Jesus knew this would happen! He left a promise written in John 16:33, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Its such a comfort to know those words, and know they're true! We aren't supposed to fit in with the world, we will be laughed at and criticized but its all worth it!
As a final note, I'd like to add that I'm not dismayed at life or anything. The love of my life is finally coming in 2 days and that makes me so happy. Kid's camp planning has started. My friend's wedding is on Sunday. God is good! School just makes it a little tough but hey, if you're not different than you're the same. And we're not supposed to be the same! "...But be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." He has! And there really is not life more satisfying than a life lived for Christ!
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